Today, I saw my selfishness in a new light, and new ways where I am not transformed by the cross. I have this mentality often that rules are a technicality only necessary in circumstances that benefit me. So, I arrived at Starbucks, early am pretty exhausted longing for a hot cup of coffee yet the line was coming out of the door and so I thought, “no way I’ll wait in that line.” I saw some friends which passed the time yet the line hadn’t budged, in fact had grew. So, I was meeting my friend Tyler to talk and we did so for about 30 when finally it occurred to me, I know one of the baristas. I can simply ask him to refill my mug, cutting more than 20 people, get in and out no harm done. Once I asked, he essentially rebuked me, “you have to wait in line like the others.” And when I reached for an excuse he wouldn’t let me give it. My first reaction was offense. I thought, “you bastard, just refill my cup, it’ll take two seconds.” But by the time I came back to the room I was convicted to the core. I completely assume that my need for a cup of coffee and essentially my time trumps everyone’s in line. It comes down to me not valuing anyone’s interests other than my own. Wow, that’s hard. Thirty minutes after I returned I went back to Starbucks and apologized to Joe for asking him to let me skip the hoard that was in front of me. I waited, somewhat patiently (tapping my toe mixed with a few sighs), and bought some coffee. I’m realizing that my standard, my bar for holiness needs to be raised. Way too often I ask what's wrong with something instead of what's right with it? "Be perfect as the Father is perfect” means one thing to me and doesn’t mean another. The one is to strive to be like Jesus, and don’t not strive to be like Him because perfection in this life is impossible.
